It happened again

I didnt know how it happened but it did

I didnt know why

All I know now is I feel empty

Empty for him

........

Here I am beside her

Her soundly asleep 

I my head the reels of my imagination rolls around

Of all the 'What if's'

.........

Maybe its because I am tired of this life

The repetition of things going over and over again

The same problem with the same not so working solution

The edgy feeling that they dont like me enough

The negativity I think of myself

.....

I can be a good daughter

I can be a good friend

I can be a good sister

I can be a good mother

But I dont think I can be a good wife

.........

I tried, tried so hard

But my heart isnt in it anymore

I dont feel like being married

I feel like I wasted too much

And also being taken advantage off

.........

But

I see them together

And I think long and hard

Am I too selfish for all the wants

But not for all I need

She still need him

She still looks for him

Maybe I could just stay

Just for her

.......


Maybe the road to Heaven is this way

All those things that I want

May not matter

........

Maybe it'll change someday

Who knows

........


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