Taited Soul

 He kissed me On the cheek And he asked me Dont i want to kiss him back I didnt answer Because I felt like crying I nearly cried Because i cried a bit before He didnt know I prayed to God To show me the path The truth? I felt sad Because i dont feel like it anymore I nearly flinched when he suddenly kissed me And i knew i let him because as a duty A duty as a wife And not out of love I dont want to say 'i love you' too Because i dont mean it anymore Maybe i should tell him again And see how it goes I dont want to be unfair And i am tired getting mad I tried throwing away bad thoughts I tried wishing well for others So many thrends are showing me out But i have nothing No money anymore So how am i going to survive Is there really something wrong with me I am scared

  Can I call you baby? Can you be my friend? Can you be my lover up until the very end? Let me show you love, oh, I don't pretend Stick by my side even when the world is givin' in, yeah Oh, oh, oh, don't Don't you worry I'll be there, whenever you want me I need somebody who can love me at my worst No, I'm not perfect, but I hope you see my worth 'Cause it's only you, nobody new, I put you first And for you, girl, I swear I'll do the worst If you stay forever, let me hold your hand I can fill those places in your heart no else can Let me show you love, oh, I don't pretend, yeah I'll be right here, baby, you know I'll sink or swim Oh, oh, oh, don't Don't you worry I'll be there, whenever you want me I need somebody who can love me at my worst No, I'm not perfect, but I hope you see my worth, yeah 'Cause it's only you, nobody new, I put you first (put you first) And for you, girl, I swear I'll do the worst I need...

  Yeah I saw you dancing in a crowded room You look so happy when I'm not with you But then you saw me, caught you by surprise A single teardrop falling from your eye I don't know why I run away I'll make you cry when I run away You could have asked me why I broke your heart You could've told me that you fell apart But you walked past me like I wasn't there And just pretended like you didn't care I don't know why I run away I'll make you cry when I run away Take me back 'cause I wanna stay Save your tears for another Save your tears for another day Save your tears for another day So I made you think that I would always stay I said some things that I should never say Yeah, I broke your heart like someone did to mine And now you won't love me for a second time I don't know why I run away Oh girl, I make you cry when I run away Girl, take me back 'cause I wanna stay Save your tears for another I realize that I'm much too late And you des...

Seeing you today clarifies a bit of what i wished for yesterday Maybe i have my issues yet Maybe it will be the same cycle even if im with you My heart somehow Is different And i do wish you the best He remembered what is said about you Trying to know u more But i just brush it off Because what happened was in 2006 And now its 2021 Its not the same Anymore I am in pieces now I dont know My heart wants what it wants I know that now All the investes feelings are gone I want to be free of this bond But then i see her How she wants him every morning And i break Knowing i cant take that from her But i....i cant bring myself to just Just give my body to him anymore I just cant I dont feel to touch him I dont feel like hugging I dont feel anything even if he kiss me I just dont I dont want to lie to myself I just know that people will ask me to just try it To try at least But i just cant fathom it I dont feel attracted I dont feel the pull I just kept remembering how everytime we did it I wil...

 I thought about it today Why did I imagine myself with you For all the times that we could have happened Why now? Maybe because i saw her appreciation post of you How youve grown and developed How now I understood the struggles How now I appreciate it more than i wanted back then That time you confessed we were young Too young And i was lost And my parents hated yours I knew it wouldnt work But now seeing the success youve made I somehow imagine What would it be like just me and you Maybe because i got tired of my life now Or maybe i just feel like my efforts are in vain Or maybe im just fed up with everything And wanted something new But I will never trade her for anything Anyone Not even you Hers is more important than me Even if somehow our paths will cross I just hope it would be under the best circumstances And not just a mere unfortunate chance I should let you go Because now we are going nowhere I shall bury this dream this feeling Because i will never know the future is wi...

Everyone is asleep except me In my mind, its playing some sort of play That i am living a different life With a different man I stalked him, knowing he has had others but somehow remained Was it because of me? The little smile he gave me the other day, brings back that one memory of me and him. Other than that he is nothing more.  But why now Why do i feel this now Is it because i am tired of living this life Or just tired of him And thus all my what if's He tried being the person before but i just dont feel like it I didnt want him to touch me anymore I feel annoyed everytime he does I think of all the things that may have happened If i wanted a new life at what price? Death? Divorce? Than i saw her with him How she looks for him every day Every morning Smiling happiness I would never take that away from her I am not that special Nobody wants me that bad And its all in my head But my heart i cant lie I just dont feel like it anymore Im tired Of the same charade The same excuses Th...

I didnt know how it happened but it did I didnt know why All I know now is I feel empty Empty for him ........ Here I am beside her Her soundly asleep  I my head the reels of my imagination rolls around Of all the 'What if's' ......... Maybe its because I am tired of this life The repetition of things going over and over again The same problem with the same not so working solution The edgy feeling that they dont like me enough The negativity I think of myself ..... I can be a good daughter I can be a good friend I can be a good sister I can be a good mother But I dont think I can be a good wife ......... I tried, tried so hard But my heart isnt in it anymore I dont feel like being married I feel like I wasted too much And also being taken advantage off ......... But I see them together And I think long and hard Am I too selfish for all the wants But not for all I need She still need him She still looks for him Maybe I could just stay Just for her ....... Maybe the road to H...