The value of a kiss

 He kissed me

On the cheek

And he asked me

Dont i want to kiss him back

I didnt answer

Because

I felt like crying

I nearly cried

Because i cried a bit before

He didnt know

I prayed to God

To show me the path

The truth?

I felt sad

Because i dont feel like it anymore

I nearly flinched when he suddenly kissed me

And i knew i let him because as a duty

A duty as a wife

And not out of love

I dont want to say 'i love you' too

Because i dont mean it anymore

Maybe i should tell him again

And see how it goes

I dont want to be unfair

And i am tired getting mad

I tried throwing away bad thoughts

I tried wishing well for others

So many thrends are showing me out

But i have nothing

No money anymore

So how am i going to survive

Is there really something wrong with me

I am scared

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