Aftermath

 Its been a few days

I have been tired because of vaccination

And my daughter has been sleeping late

I tried but its hard with no cooperation

Yesterday i had my session

I felt more at ease and comfortable talking about my marriage

Besides also having a side project with friends

I have my privacy a little as well

He did something unexpected anfew days ago

Putting hooks at the door, at my level

He never done things like that before

Always wanting me to tell him

How to act what to say how to say it

Maybe because the previous day

I told him to look things at my prespective

Because he keep asking me to trust him 

Regarding hibah

I told him how am i supposed too 

When he lost the hibah book

He might have change it

Who knows right

Job opportunities are thrown at me

I am not sure if its a sign to go out or stay

I will try to asl if the job is good

I need to

For her

I am seeing her being sensitive with how i feel

Even if i pretended to be upset

She will cry

But she doesnt know what to do if i cry

My daughter

My sweetheart

Always the sweetest girl knowing how to cheer me up

Alhamdullilah for her

I looked back at our memories

I remember how i felt back then

But it doesnt feel like how i feel now

Now is just....nothing....

I worry with her sensitivity

Is staying a right thing to do

Can she know how i feel

How i react

Is staying really the best thing for her?

I really dont know

What is more important is het well being

I dont want to normalize her being in relationship just because

I am aiming to have my own income

And i must trust Allah that He is the best provider

InsyAllah

I am more at ease now maybe because i cant pray together with him

His pace is too fast for me

And i dont know if i can tell him that i want to pray on my own on certain prayers

Lets just hope

He has an open mind about it

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