Am I losing myself again

Today I feel tensed

The pressure is getting me everything he asks for money. 

Yesterday he wanted to buy pet food but when I stopped for some gas, he went too long into the station. When asked he said he is using his money for my gas when I has already mention to use my money by wave. He said he wanted to have some cash. I feel mad because we waited for a long time and he always walks slowly just to buy things. When he mention he is using his money for my sake then he gets this baby attitude looking hurtful and down. 

I hate it!

He looks weak and i hate it

Because its like i have to be string for the family whenever shit arrives

I want a leader not a big baby!

He has loooong since read the Quran for her.

He stills doesnt control his sleeping position so as not to bother us. 

He stills leaves a mess like he doesnt care to wipe or vacuum the floor.

He still has to be teminded to play with her.

He has to be reminded to wash the dishes, not just his own but other dishes that makes the plate! 

To be fair he does do the laundry and play with her when it comes. He does the dishes whenever i keep showing how upset i am. Or clean up her mess when he was supposed to teach her. Even though he bath her, he likes to leave her on her own. He never thought her anything or read anything with her, just play play play. 


So am i the problem now

What am i doing

I feel like going into circles again

I feel like going somewhere far

My mind went rogue today

I imagined myself with a superstar

I know it might not have a chance to happen

But wouldnt it be nice though

To at least be friends

But i would rather stay with her together

Just the two of us

But i dont know yet

If this is my path

For now i feel like i am stuck

And it sucks


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