Journals

Now its already Friday

But Monday I had a session that states I should write a journal for my journey. This way I will be of focus on my current life.

Somethings I cant control like his behaviour

His unability to keep his promise

But I can control how to react amd respond.

Coincidently we watched a movie called Thapped, means slap. How in the end a dutiful housewife asked for divorce just after the slap. But what gets me is that how she protrays herself in the movie, which is allogn with me.

People expect me to be the perfect wife

And he always paints himself as the perfect husband.

The thing is that within our marriage journey, I tend to close an eye on things that I disliked atvthat time but ignore to avoid conflict.

For instance when I had my delivery, and he insist we go back to his hometown because he doesnt know what to do and all the way he uses the old road. A bumpy road for someone who just had an operation. I knew he refused to go to the highway because he doesnt have enough money. But then again he had time to save up for nine months.

I dont want to recall much because I dont want to hate him. I tried looking at him the way before to feel the way I used too but nothing. 

Hopefully luck is on my side for my side busniesses and maybe I'll get a job that suits me and her.

For now TWH is in my mind again. 

Sometimes I think I love how people move themselves further, like an upgrade. It is a very good appeal. 

I am glad so far he had made it easy for me.

InsyAllah there is a way