Insight

A few days  ago my counselor suggested to break it down a bit with him

I was nervous at first but then i had a talk with a friend and she gave me a good insight which is to wait and try to be patient

Because it make sense

I would never know his reaction

And if he doesnt like what i say

I could be at his mercy

I have to wait until i have my own income

But still waiting for the laptop too

I scolded him today

Because since yesterday he has been with his phone or watch this indian series. Whenever i asked him to focus on her, he gets mad that he is....but how is it focusing when he is still holdong his phone throughout the play?

Yesterday he went to kedah but all the while i was so glad because i have my freedom. Likr i can be myself without worrying what he might say or think. 

I get tired of making breakfast too. Like its no ending in the kitchen. But he always have to ask me and always buy the same thing even when i say i dont like the taste. Sometimes he doesnt want to eat lunch but then he gets angry when she wants to play with him whenever he changes his mind.

I guess i have to learn to live like i am now. I am stuck and i dont have a support system. I am looking at opportunities to study overseas because that is another aim i want in life. 

But i need money of my own. 

So i have to stay stronger.

And may Allah leads my path. 

I wish i can talk freely and on my phone.

Seems hard now without feeling like he's eavesdropping. 

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