I feel like I am about to burst

I have tried

I really did

We went out as a family a lot

but that's just it

My feelings are still the same

I want out

At first I was feeling a bit guilty

but now I just don't anymore

Because she deserves more than a messy home

an unhappy mother

an confusing parent relationship.

I love her too much to do that to her.

I think recently he saw my salary slip.

So he went back to his old ways. 

I couldn't care less

I hope Allah shows me the way.

But I am scared too

Scared that I couldn't give her what she deserves.

But Allah know best.


I am so attracted to hard working men right now

Its confusing because I do believe they are just lucky.

But usually it gets some time to overcome this attraction.

Because all I want is for me to love myself.

And I really don't like myself right now.

Funny thing is he kept on saying he loves me

But doesn't provide me a sense of security

To myself to where I live

I used to worry what I would need to eat

Now I don't

But still

I try

For her sake


I really hope my efforts are not in vain

I really hope this is the best for me

I just want to be happy

Is it so much to ask

Is it too much to just be pampered

I just want a peace of mind

I just want myself back

Please pray for me

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