War is Over

Finally,
I had the time to sit down and regulate my feelings. I am relieved it went well. But I am a bit upset on how it happened.Not because in the end I had the divorce, but my daughter had to be left alone for awhile while we had to take the stand. The started with us getting ready. I drove us there because I didnt want him to delay anymore. He always drives slow for his benefit. 

When we reached the court, around 8.00 am, they told us to go to the seksyen court for Pesuruhjaya Sumpah. When we arrived there, we had to wait for 8.30am. In the end we manage to finished registration by 9.15am.I spent RM50 for registration and RM20 for Pesuruhjaya Sumpah. 

It took a time to recieve the summon, we did think to send her to school but was worried we couldnt get back in time for the proceesing. I did consider to send her to my fathers house but still, we are unsure of the time it will take for our turn. In the end we took my laptop and her tab for her to play with.It was a long process to wait after receiving the summon. As we waited I heard a lot of cases with each unique in its own way. When its finally our turn, we pray that she is at least safe out there. When we went to the stand and presented our case. The judge could visibly see that he was upset and as is not willingly there. So he tried to gauge me by asking the reason, but fairly, he also asked if every conversation reached a solution, and to be honest, I said "No". 

Because yesterday night was the proof of that; 

We fought hard and I just didnt care about my daughters feelings at that time. 

She even pinched me for me to stop. 

I was only asking about the gold neck and hand chain. 

 He promised to pay it back 2 years ago. 

 I wanted to put it in the court document as tuntutan hutang. 

He asked me to trust him. I said I couldn't because he never mentioned nor indicated any discussion about this. 

Then he said about Hibah, to use it if he isnt alive someday to pay it back. 

I told him, I know he nominated me but that was as a wife, how sure an ex wife can claim it? 

He told me they dont really care if wife or ex wife because its not stated there. 

I asked him for proof. Then he went berserk. 

He told me to look at the email he sent me. 

I told him they only mentioned the email certification number, no cert no document. 

 I had reminded him, I had asked for this a long time ago. 

And he said he needed time. So now how is it my fault for keeping on asking. 

Then, he went upstairs while I went to the toilet. 

When I went out of the toilet, he dramatically went down and shoved this papers about Prudential saying; 

" Kenapa Mama buat Papa macam ni? Papa sentiasa fikir anak bini, ni tengok ni Papa amek insurance sbb fikirkan korang." 

I asked him, how is this to do with the Hibah? 

" I needed time because the reception is bad cant download bla bla bla, now because of you I might not pray Maghrib" 

Again reminded him, that I have aske this a long time ago. 

And I shouted " Don't blame me for not praying because I have asked this a long time ago". 

He then went out and I prayed. 

When he came back he showed me the Hibah document. 

To be honest, I have seen the certificate before, because I carelessly downloaded it in my laptop when I was away for the day. I was just hoping he changed this one thing that bothered me that time. 

So eventually, once I formally received it, I asked about it. 

He went berserk. 

What was the thing I asked? I found that the details of the Hibah certificate was registered under his name, with marital status: single, on May 2023. 

Why would he be berserk? I finally caught him maybe? 

Then he went all out I am not trusting, I NEVER ASKED IF HE IS OK, then with his condencending tone "OKLA PERGI LA NAK TUNTUT! TUNTUT LA" 

Eventually I went all out! "You are way past the line! why cant i ask all of this? all i ever wanted was assurance that YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THE GOLD CHAINS!,HOW CAN I TRUST YOU WHEN YOU NEVER KEEP IT? U ASSUME I AM OK WITH YOUR DECISION! YOU NEVER EVEN ASKED ME! AT LEAST TALK TO ME ABOUT IT! I AM NOT A GOD TO KNOW WHAT YOU DO OR THINK!" in the end I had to deescalate this issue just for him to cooperate. 

Hence, when I answered the judge, the judge is also satisfied with the reasons I gave to make it work.

I could see from the corner of my eyes, he kept turning to me when the judge read it out. I know he is starting to be dramatic. 

But the judge say, 

 "when someone has gone through this much, they had done everything they can. When they have gone through depression (the judge asked me what kind of depression, I said early stage), and we dont want it to become severe up until the talk to themselves. Sometimes, divorce is like a medicine for someone, when we divorce, we take time to find our own happiness. Does the Defendant agree?" He cried some tears and told the judge he isn't really willing but if that's what would make me happy than he would obliged. 

So then the we hugged and shook hands for the last time. And he divorced me. I was so relieved. 

But I know this is just the start. And I was right. Just after we were officially divorced, he told me he didnt know I even went to counseling and such. I told him, I asked him to read the papers before I printed it out.It not my fault for not reading it well. 

So Alhamdullilah for me but he is becoming an annoyance now. Same as he was 2 years ago. All those love words that doesnt mean a thing. Maybe some other time I will write about it. Now I need to go to the money changer. 

 29/4/2017 - 8/1/2024