My Confession

 23.3.2024

12.00am

Assalamualaikum....Just wanted to let you know firstly, sorry if this message is a bit long, but I promise, its not a scam and also I hope you can bear with me for a few minutes..

Anyway, I hope you are doing well, happy and healthy. 

I'm sorry again if this came out so suddenly, but recent events have led me to believe that, I would like this to be let out of my system, which apparently, I didn't know was still there in the first place, so I can move on with my life. I am also sorry if this text would cause you any trouble as I don't really know your status, but I really mean no harm, however I hope you can forgive me if it does.

I just wanted to let you know that, I have always admired you. I don't know how it started but I have always loved our talks and banter since the beginning and it really made me happy, I would like to thank you for that. You (almost) always give good advices and your views are real (sometimes, but I enjoyed knowing some, sometimes its seems silly but yes, enjoyable). I always admired how you keep moving forward with your life despite, I guess, having had difficulties and rough spots in life (and I sincerely hope it gets easier if its not). I like how you keep mentioning about being a fighter and also to be kind, having those as your values may not be easy in this world but it is the right thing to fight for.

It makes me happy seeing you try new things or doing something, like gardening or repairing things, trying to make yourself more healthy by hiking or running, or hanging out, traveling and living your life. I like that people around you are always at ease or happy to tease you and you are always so cool with it (but if you're not, you somehow know how to deal with it well). Everyone I know has always had something nice to say about you too ( I never ask, but they happen to bring you up sometimes). I don't know if you prefer for people seeing you that way but I guess its your personality has always been attractive to some. 

It inspired me to be better too. I also enjoy reading your writings and posts way way back when you were blogging and your pictures too, and now that you're doing reels, it's enjoyable to see it coming out from your perspective. Your pictures are always unique to me, I hope you got that camera you said you wanted before, and maybe you did, so congratulations!

I guess, what I am trying to say is that, I have a crush on you. I did try to tell you about it before, sometime ago, but at that time when we last met, the situation got the best of me. I would rather jump off a building than do this, because I am scared all the time, but if I don't, I'm afraid that it will secretly consume me and I can't start over my life. So there, I am here to tell you that I have a crush on you.

I would also like to apologize if I have ever said anything wrong to you or made you feel uncomfortable, I hope you can forgive me. Please know that I don't mean it, even if so, its just to get back at your banter. But I have always found you to be a peculiar person, and I believe you are unique in your own way.

I do hope that someday, you will find what you are looking for in life and if you ever encounter any difficulties, that Allah will ease it out for you and grant all your wishes to come true (if its the best for you). I sincerely hope so. 

I hope if you ever feel lonely, you are always surrounded by good people that can cheer you up. But even if its not people, maybe your surroundings are cheerful or nice, in such a way it can lift it up.

I hope even if you don't feel like it, whatever burdens you shall feel lighter soon and also if you have any worries or doubts, I hope, even if its not over, it would be easier for you.

I hope, even if you feel like you are not worth something, that you should know that you are worth it. Maybe it won't happen now, maybe it won't happen as you want it to be, but I believe it would come to you better than you hoped for. 

I hope if you feel like you can't forgive yourself, your heart and mind would finally do.

I hope you also don't feel the burden to be nice all the time, just because you have to, but even if you do, its because you want to sincerely be nice.

I hope you can also take a moment to also acknowledge how far you've come and keep pushing forward. You did great and maybe better than I have been.

If you ever feel down, just know that I am in the background cheering you on! Really all the best from me!

I wish you all the best thing this life could give you, InsyAllah.

Anyway, you don't have to reply or do anything. Don't worry, I am not expecting anything.

Thank you again for being such an inspiration and taking your time to read this.. and I hope you are always happy too.

Take care and Selamat Berpuasa


12.40am

I am lost of words ...

I really appreciate your kind feelings and kind words. 

Im very happy to read all of the text. It feel genuine and sincere and feels appreciated.  Thanks again. It really makes my day. 

u nailed everything about me haha. Well i believe semua org have their ups n down and some fighting going on somewhere. Definitely not easy but unexpectedly generous and kind sometimes. 

Staying positive is not easy too. Its a never ending fights. And its is really a choice rather than instinct. We all just trying our best ig, and all comes to our faith and heaven's mercy.

Rasa humble sgt to ur kind words and to know i inspired another in some ways. Especially coming from an amazing person like u. 

 Im pretty sure u are an inspiration to others too. Im very sure alot of people are proud of u, and i am one of them. Keep up the good work. 

Thank you again for the feelings, kind words and  kind wishes. I wish us all kelapangan kesihatan, kelapangan masa, kebahagian, kekayaan dunia akhirat dan ketenangan.

Take care and selamat berpuasa.

Thanks again for the kindness